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Old Songs

by Boy In a Jar

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1.
I'm tired of getting rained on I'm tired of playing inside baseball i said maybe ten words yesterday and it felt real good turning off my brain and i'm holding out hope for you and i'm holding out a little bit for me too and I'm hoping if i get another chance I won't fuck it up again like i have in the past and you're back on you're bullshit i can tell it by the way you ain't talking i might crawl back in my hole again I've got a documented history of doing it but i'm trying to keep it together i'm trying to get back to what i believed in before this sanctimonious horseshit came down, took my brain out and broke it
2.
Beast 04:33
you find a beast you go kick his cage I am deliberate in every single thing that I say we've been hurting we've been healing we've been papering the wall staring at the ceiling who are you? asking all these questions and picking at the glue that I poured on you back when I gave life to you I have often wondered what comes after this place and I am finding out in the most peculiar ways it's not the same it's not the same it's not the same it's not the same as it ever was I have always been a bit unplugged always arcing, always bouncing off the people I love now I'm older yeah I'm older I've been ripping out the wires and flipping them over I'm still chucking out sparks still throwing off electrical charges and I have often wondered what makes the world so strange and I am finding out today the hard way it's not the same it's not the same it's not the same it's not the same I love you anyway
3.
a spirit in my speaker was talking to me through radio waves saying hey jude, I'm a lost cause too you can't move something that don't wanna move I met the devil, I went to church when you hear both sides of a story, it only makes it worse the choice between your left and your right hand a fat fuck's greasy fingers in the saucepan what's it gonna take to quench your undying thirst? how can I call mine what you found first? I wanna clip your wing you wanna jam a fork in my eye but you'd follow me into a firefight we're all buzzing around the brightest light if I knew how close to get if I knew the right amount of blood to let if I had the brains or the mindset to take what I wanted and leave the bodies in the dustpan I'd like to believe you'd still love me then how do you wish to life what you've never been?
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freedom is a bag of bones on the kitchen stairs if you're not going anywhere, you're getting old freedom is a die you roll undersized, overgrown undertaker, understand that I am under no one's hand what overlaps gets overblown you gotta look for numbers on the sides of the cars you gotta look for rattlesnakes in the tall grass in your yard what I found, you'll never find, you are, you are, you are, you are you are everything and you are nothing at all kicking hard in wooden shoes whose baby girl is that, kicking herself breathless, baby blue? don't hold your breath if you think it's you overwrought, undersold under every little man is a man who thought he was over growing old freedom is a die you roll freedom is a die you roll you gotta look for numbers on the sides of the cars you gotta look for rattlesnakes in the tall grass in your yard what I found, you'll never find, you are, you are, you are, you are you are everything and you are nothing at all freedom is a bag of bones on the kitchen stairs if you're not going anywhere, you're getting old freedom is a die you roll
6.
I got a bad feeling it keeps getting worse had a dream that it was Christmas woke up with blood on my shirt I saw the rats I hear the protest songs I keep having dreams about you dying and waking up all distraught you keep getting harder, slipping further away and I don't, I don't wanna say wait I've been hanging around the worst parts of town I've been dragging every person that I meet down and I've got nothing to say for the way I behave I am dreaming I am leaving I'm going to outer fucking space I don't, I don't wanna stay and wait
7.
2870-3491-7337 ~~ ACOUSTIC GUITAR played at ONE HUNDRED NINETY ONE beats per minute~~ ~~ Tying off the neck at the FOURTH POSITION ~~ S T A R T I T telling lies on the radio we're sitting here drinking it up do you feel like an animal? it's a grain of sand it's the constant swing of a battering ram it's a story I tell again and again yeah, them's the breaks yeah, I know it's fucked, but that's hard to take yeah them's the breaks, yeah them's the breaks yeah them's the breaks, yeah them's the breaks yeah them's the breaks, yeah them's the breaks E N D T R A N S M I S S I O N
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(shit I didn't write, it goes something like this:)
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Their old stuff was better

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released November 17, 2021

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Boy In a Jar Toledo, Ohio

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